Comments for Spectorqular http://spectorqular.com So Bad They're Awesome Tue, 06 Jan 2009 01:36:18 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 Comment on Uwe’s Gold: Let Video Game Badness Rayne by dave http://spectorqular.com/movie/uwes-gold-let-video-game-badness-rayne/#comment-18 dave Tue, 10 Oct 2006 03:39:03 +0000 http://www.spectorqular.com/?p=18#comment-18 Wow, where to begin. Andy's comments are right on in those last 5 minutes. Its like the freeze frames from CHiPs, only bloodier. Michael Madsen does not look good. His face alone has gained 10 pounds. And he didn't even bother to phone in his lines, he mailed 'em in, and didn't bother with postage. And the troll with the hammer looked a lot like Sloth Fratelli (the deformed bad guy Chunk befriended in The Goonies). Wow, where to begin. Andy’s comments are right on in those last 5 minutes. Its like the freeze frames from CHiPs, only bloodier.

Michael Madsen does not look good. His face alone has gained 10 pounds. And he didn’t even bother to phone in his lines, he mailed ‘em in, and didn’t bother with postage.

And the troll with the hammer looked a lot like Sloth Fratelli (the deformed bad guy Chunk befriended in The Goonies).

]]> Comment on Spectorqular Rule #371: when you need ass-kicking in a post-apocalyptic future, you call Milla Jovovich by dave http://spectorqular.com/movie/ultraviolet/#comment-23 dave Tue, 10 Oct 2006 03:31:53 +0000 http://www.spectorqular.com/?p=23#comment-23 This movie definitely needs to be about 75 minutes. It was way too long, and the fight scenes were pretty repetitive. A couple other things to notice: Every time there was a shot of Milla Jovovich's face, it was done in a sort of soft focus effect that looked straight out of the pages of Penthouse. Very irritating. Did anyone else think she was going to yell "Cursor, draw me a car!" when she needed to get somewhere fast? The scar on the kid's eyebrow switched sides at least once. And finally, the crappy CG in this movie is worth a mention. Just not good. I'd say a solid 3 cubes. This movie definitely needs to be about 75 minutes. It was way too long, and the fight scenes were pretty repetitive. A couple other things to notice:

Every time there was a shot of Milla Jovovich’s face, it was done in a sort of soft focus effect that looked straight out of the pages of Penthouse. Very irritating.

Did anyone else think she was going to yell “Cursor, draw me a car!” when she needed to get somewhere fast?

The scar on the kid’s eyebrow switched sides at least once.

And finally, the crappy CG in this movie is worth a mention. Just not good.

I’d say a solid 3 cubes.

]]> Comment on Spectorqular Rule #371: when you need ass-kicking in a post-apocalyptic future, you call Milla Jovovich by andy http://spectorqular.com/movie/ultraviolet/#comment-22 andy Mon, 14 Aug 2006 20:10:11 +0000 http://www.spectorqular.com/?p=23#comment-22 Every battle sequence is a circle of guys attacking Ultra Violet. Over and over again. The evil stormtroopers, the yakuza, the vampires, etc. I would say they should have called this movie battle circles or something. I still haven't figured out how this movie slowed down with a 95 minute running time, but somehow it actually does. Worth a watch though for the repeated circle fights alone. Every battle sequence is a circle of guys attacking Ultra Violet. Over and over again. The evil stormtroopers, the yakuza, the vampires, etc. I would say they should have called this movie battle circles or something.

I still haven’t figured out how this movie slowed down with a 95 minute running time, but somehow it actually does. Worth a watch though for the repeated circle fights alone.

]]> Comment on Nothing Stealthy about this Spectorqular Gem by andy http://spectorqular.com/movie/nothing-stealthy-about-this-spectorqular-gem/#comment-11 andy Thu, 27 Jul 2006 17:39:26 +0000 http://www.spectorqular.com/?p=17#comment-11 I wish there was a way to give this 10 cubes. 1) Being able to read a fingerprint on a wood post from over 5 miles away. That is probably the greatest piece of technology ever introduced. 2) Adding a scene where the three main actors are listening to different songs just to beef up the soundtrack... AWESOME! 3) A military base where they hide their guns behind some racks of food... COME ON! 4) You will never hear "I lost my stealth" in another movie. If you do, you won't hear it 4 times. If you do not see this movie, then you better be dead! I wish there was a way to give this 10 cubes.

1) Being able to read a fingerprint on a wood post from over 5 miles away. That is probably the greatest piece of technology ever introduced.

2) Adding a scene where the three main actors are listening to different songs just to beef up the soundtrack… AWESOME!

3) A military base where they hide their guns behind some racks of food… COME ON!

4) You will never hear “I lost my stealth” in another movie. If you do, you won’t hear it 4 times.
If you do not see this movie, then you better be dead!

]]> Comment on Transported straight to the crapper by Kyle http://spectorqular.com/movie/transporter-2/#comment-25 Kyle Tue, 25 Jul 2006 18:42:38 +0000 http://www.spectorqular.com/?p=25#comment-25 Dave -- I'm guessing that scene you're alluding to has something to do with a car pulling off one of the most unbelievable acrobatic moves ever conceived by man. Seriously, I don't know if any scene has ever been THAT fake in a movie. Ever. Seriously. Dave –

I’m guessing that scene you’re alluding to has something to do with a car pulling off one of the most unbelievable acrobatic moves ever conceived by man.

Seriously, I don’t know if any scene has ever been THAT fake in a movie. Ever.

Seriously.

]]> Comment on Pulling the Trigger by andy http://spectorqular.com/movie/picasso-trigger/#comment-24 andy Fri, 21 Jul 2006 23:47:56 +0000 http://www.spectorqular.com/?p=24#comment-24 Andy Sidaris is the king. I wish he would come out of retirement for one big 80s style masterpiece. Andy Sidaris is the king. I wish he would come out of retirement for one big 80s style masterpiece.

]]> Comment on Back to the Blue with you, Nessie! by tenuate dospan http://spectorqular.com/movie/back-to-the-blue-with-you-nessie/#comment-4 tenuate dospan Fri, 21 Jul 2006 08:16:08 +0000 http://www.spectorqular.com/?p=11#comment-4 <strong>tenuate dospan...</strong> tenuate dospan buy tenuate... tenuate dospan…

tenuate dospan buy tenuate…

]]> Comment on Nothing Stealthy about this Spectorqular Gem by Kyle http://spectorqular.com/movie/nothing-stealthy-about-this-spectorqular-gem/#comment-10 Kyle Sat, 08 Jul 2006 19:03:50 +0000 http://www.spectorqular.com/?p=17#comment-10 Ok, after just watching this, I will definitely second the 5-cube review. A couple things I would like to add: 1.) It's actually quite admirable how they manage to give a personality to the AI stealth jet. I especially like the scene where he blows the cap off the refueling line. 2.) I don't want to give away too much, but trust me people -- this plot drags out and goes into all sorts of territory you would never imagine. I thought I knew what to expect from seeing a glut of previews...and it still managed to wind into all sorts of spectorqular areas, and just kept going and going. Seriously -- if you're a fan of 'so bad they're good' movies, you absolutely MUST see Stealth. Ok, after just watching this, I will definitely second the 5-cube review. A couple things I would like to add:

1.) It’s actually quite admirable how they manage to give a personality to the AI stealth jet. I especially like the scene where he blows the cap off the refueling line.

2.) I don’t want to give away too much, but trust me people — this plot drags out and goes into all sorts of territory you would never imagine. I thought I knew what to expect from seeing a glut of previews…and it still managed to wind into all sorts of spectorqular areas, and just kept going and going.

Seriously — if you’re a fan of ’so bad they’re good’ movies, you absolutely MUST see Stealth.

]]> Comment on Howie Long vs. the fake Canadians by andy http://spectorqular.com/movie/firestorm/#comment-21 andy Thu, 29 Jun 2006 22:05:25 +0000 http://www.spectorqular.com/?p=22#comment-21 Wow, I thought coming off of broken arrow, this would have really launched his career. Truly though Howie Long is an underused actor and should have had a better shot at the Hollywood action title. Wow, I thought coming off of broken arrow, this would have really launched his career. Truly though Howie Long is an underused actor and should have had a better shot at the Hollywood action title.

]]> Comment on Spectorqular Trailers: In the Name of the King by andy http://spectorqular.com/movie/in-the-name-of-the-king-trailer1/#comment-20 andy Mon, 19 Jun 2006 16:55:19 +0000 http://www.spectorqular.com/?p=19#comment-20 Where can I buy tickets now? I want to be first in line! This may be Uwe's first 5 cuber. Where can I buy tickets now? I want to be first in line! This may be Uwe’s first 5 cuber.

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