Don’t get Left Behind

On the surface, Left Behind would seem like the ultimate spectorqular film. For those who aren’t familiar with the film series and the books of the same name, here’s a quick synopsis from Amazon:

When 100 million people vanish from earth, Global News Network reporter Buck Williams (Kirk Cameron) follows the mystery as pilot Ray Steele tries to locate his wife and son. As he digs deeper, he finds that the answers may lie in the Bible. Based on the best-selling novel by Christian evangelist Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins, Left Behind is a chilling look at the chaos that follows Judgment Day.

I’d love to recommend this movie to everyone, but quite frankly, it’s just not that spectorqular. Sure, it’s hilarious to watch the low-budget rendition of the Rapture, complete with empty shoes and piles of clothes lying around. But even at a seemingly-short 95 minutes of runtime, this movie still feels impossibly long. By the end, you’re kind of just hoping that you get left behind too….as long as it means you won’t have to watch this mess anymore.

What to watch for:

+ Brad Johnson, whose movie career started out so promisingly (with a prominent role on the Spielberg movie Always), as the adultering airline pilot; it’s almost exactly the same as Dean Martin’s role as the airline pilot who knocked up Jacqueline Bisset in Airport, only Johnson is as rigid and stiff as Martin was loose and drunk.

+ Mike Seaver himself — Kirk Cameron — plays reporter Buck Williams; which was also the name of a former NBA basketball player. Just for fun, imagine that Kirk Cameron is a 6′9″ African-American at various intervals during the movie — it makes it far more fun.

+ Clarence Gilyard, a regular on Walker: Texas Ranger, as one of those “left behind”.