Pulling the Trigger

There isn’t much to say about Picasso Trigger…the movie really speaks for itself. True B-movie filmmaking at its finest, complete with cheesy slow-mo death sequences, a curly mullet-wearing hero, and fake breasts as far as the eye can see. Andy Sidaris made a name for himself in the 1980’s, as a sort of low-rent Roger Corman (which I guess would make him ULTRA-low rent). His movies are affectionately referred to as “The Triple B” series — as in “bullets, bombs, and babes”, and they are by no means subtle in delivering those goods. In fact, if someone told you Sidaris’s very life rested on having one of the B’s in every scene of his films, after watching Picasso Trigger you wouldn’t doubt it.

+ This epic back-and-forth: “Why did we ever break up?” “Because you told me you were getting married.” Ohhh, right. That.

+ The ripped jeans love scene, where the strapping male lead uses his lady’s ripped jeans to grab her and pull her close. Priceless.

+ Vegas, Texas, Hawaii — this is a true American epic, sprawling across our fine country to various locations, spewing vapid, nonsensical dialogue at every stop.

+ A soundtrack that seems deadset on incorporating EVERY cheesy style from the 1980’s. From crappy Casio-grade synth music to some hip salsa, Picasso Trigger’s soundtrack is the equivalent of 1980’s audio buckshot — a big nasty mish-mash of whatever was lying around, hurling at you way too fast.