The Spectorqular Freeze: Rules to Make More Cube-tastic Movies (Vol 1)

Inspired by HSX Research, we decided to offer our own consulting services to the studios. To executives at the studios, please feel free to use these… no charge.

  • #32 - At least 3 times in the movie, demonstrate a blatant lack of physics in your movie world.
  • #33 - Be extremely inconsistent with your rules about a) vampires, b) ghosts, c) witches or d) super powers
  • #47 - Now that Sam Raimi’s big, shaky handheld camera work is all the rage — cram it in, especially when it’s not appropriate.
    #47b - If the camera work doesn’t bring on nausea, you aren’t shaking enough
    #47c - see Bourne Supremacy for best practices here
  • #66 - Any big muscle guy should be sleeveless
    #66b - Arms should be sweating even in the frozen arctic (ala cliffhanger)
  • #79 - At least one martial artist should be using cables to make him look really bad-ass, even though he can’t kick over his own head.
  • #87 - Tattoos = bad guys. More tattoos = even badder bad guys.
  • #88 - Same as 87, but with piercings.
  • #97 - Bullets should NEVER affect the bad guys and good guys the same way.
  • #132 - More explosions.
  • #133 - crappy pop song by unknown artist that has nothing to do with movie in the credits
  • #189 - When in doubt, use an old TV actor from the 1970s or 1980s.
  • #233 - Hire Steven Seagal has a script consultant

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